Twist and Shout
by ReBish
Summary: Helga confesses and Arnold rejects her. So college starts and the holidays loom closer. A realistic interpretation of their reluctant romance.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Burn

"Helga, I can't deal with this right now."

"I'm not trying to pressure you," Helga hissed. "I just need to tell you this before we go off to school."

"So the fact that Lila broke up with me last week has nothing to do with your confession?"

"I didn't say that," Helga rubbed her face. "I didn't want to tell you while you were dating _her_."

"I still love her."

"I know."

"And I can't tell you what you want to hear."

"I know."

"Then why tell me?"

"Because it's time I did," Helga blinked back the tears. "I never thought there could be a chance between us. I only dreamed but I figure there had to be a time where I couldn't be a coward and tell you how I feel."

"I don't know how to respond without hurting you," Arnold sighed, leaning against the door of his home. "And this isn't exactly expected."

"Yeah, I hid everything behind our friendship."

"Why?"

"Because when Lila called, you came calling," Helga spat. "How could I compete against _perfect_ Lila? You've been pining for her since we were kids."

"Well, maybe if you said something-"

"Bullshit."

"Helga, I don't want to hurt you," Arnold glanced at his watch. "And I have to pack for school."

"Listen, I only came here to tell you," Helga rubbed her arm. "Did I expect my heart be put into a blender and have it turned to frappe? Absolutely. I never hoped you felt the same."

"I'm sorry."

"You can't be sorry," Helga felt her fingernails bite into her skin. "Only annoyed."

"How do we deal with us being friends?"

"I'll let you figure that out," she shrugged. "I have my own shit to deal with."

"That's not fair."

"How do you think I feel," Helga countered. His argument wilted on his lips. "Exactly."

"Helga," Arnold struggled to find words. "You have terrible timing."

"Like I said, football-head," Helga turned on her heel. "I never expected more."

"That's a pretty awful way to think of me," Arnold wanted to run after her, to confess his feelings. But he didn't have any feelings for her that met what she wanted.

"Do you love me?"

"... as a friend."

"See? I wasn't wrong," Helga bit her lip. "Give me some space, okay?"

"Sure."

With that, Helga walked home in the brisk dusk of the day. Her phone beeped incessantly as she made her way back to the house. The weather was turning colder with every passing day, warning everyone that school was going to start soon. Phoebe and Gerald were going to the ever prestigious UCLA. Phoebe was going on a full scholarship based on her grades, scholastic achievement and essay; Gerald had been accepted on the Football team and it came with a full four year grant/scholarship combination. Helga was accepted to the University of Seattle two hours away from Hillwood. Arnold was going to Humboldt for Anthropology.

In high school, they had all become close and formed a group that managed to get through exams, rumors and dating, not that Helga had done much of it. Gerald and Phoebe had two break ups; one in 10th grade and one before Senior Prom. And all of them managed to get through it as friends. Phoebe knew about Helga's feelings towards Arnold but there was never a proper time to confess. Besides, Lila made that almost impossible. It wasn't that Miss Perfect was intimidated by Helga, but she knew about her feelings. And so Lila tried her hardest to keep Arnold to herself just to make sure that nothing happened. Helga wasn't a threat in that way. Or in anyway, really.

Helga picked up her phone.

"Hey Phoebes," Helga sighed. "I told him." Pause. Then, a hollow laugh. "I can't compete against Lila." Pause. "Sure. Come over. No ice cream."

**OxOxOxO**

Helga shoved the last box into her car, making sure that everything was packed away that she needed. Her computer and a few snacks were in the front alongside a large folder of paperwork for her dorm and whatnot. Helga wiped her forehead and jammed the trunk of her trusty little Camry closed before patting her pockets for the keys. With a start, she remembered that they were upstairs along with her purse. Helga went back in the empty house and took a last look around before she locked the door and smiled, getting ready to leave. She didn't expect Arnold leaning against her car, looking upset.

"You've got to be kidding me," Helga groaned.

"You're really planning on leaving without saying goodbye," he asked, frowning.

"I'm just going for a ride," she muttered evasively.

"I watched you pack your car."

"What does it matter," Helga placed her hands on her hips.

"We're_ friends_, Helga. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"I asked for space," she snapped.

"So you can run away?"

"Call it what you want, Arnold. I just don't want to be here anymore. I can't take it."

"Why," Arnold took her hand gently. "Because I rejected you?"

"Why do you always have to make things about yourself," Helga yanked it back. "I already got you out of my system. I have to get to school early anyway."

"That's a lie."

"I don't care what you think, Arnold."

"I can't believe you would leave without saying good-bye," he sighed. Helga rubbed the bridge between her eyes and pressed hard to get rid of the tears. Still, they fell on her cheeks. "Helga?"

"You're so selfish, football-head," she gasped, struggling to hide her face. "I wanted to leave in peace. I didn't want my heart broken again just by seeing you."

"I-"

"NO," Helga yelled, looking furious. "You don't get to say anything! Just let me go."

"But you're my friend," Arnold tried to take a hold of her shoulders but she visibly shirked away from his touch as if it burned.

"Not right now," she snarled. Helga jammed the key into her door and opened the car. Jumping in, it took only a moment for her to turn on the car and put it on drive.

"Helga," Arnold rapped on her window sharply. She rolled it down reluctantly after she had cleaned up her face. "Why are you doing this?"

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"I'm going to try," Helga spat. "Just go away, football-head."

"Helga, you're being immature."

"So _fucking_ what," Helga turned off her car stepped outside. "Who gave you the fucking _authority_ to tell me how to feel?"

"I'm not trying to do that,"Arnold raised his hands up. "I'm just-"

"Arnold, you're an asshole and you are _clueless_," Helga shrieked, shoving him against another car.

"Helga, calm down!"

"Stop telling me what to do," Helga paused before punching him in the stomach. "I'm leaving."

Helga was gone before he had any time to recover. She had peeled out with the fury of a thousand stray cats. Arnold coughed a few times, looking rather upset and unsure of what to do. His phone rang, startling him from his thoughts. Swiping his finger over the touch screen, he answered it hollowly.

"Hey. Um, no... Helga's not going to be joining us for lunch..."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Christmas

Helga watched with a very wide grin as Harold struggled with the last shot in his row. She felt a press of bodies behind her, curious to see if she could win. He raised it to his lips, sighed, and placed it back down amidst the boos in the room while Helga whooped in joy and stole his shot and downed it in victory. It didn't matter that she was barely able to walk to the bathroom. She managed and made sure she locked the door.

Splashing water on her face, she looked in the mirror and sighed. Heavy bangs fell over face as her hair fell over her thin shoulders. It was straightened to an inch of its life but soft enough for fingers to play with. Super skinny black jeans and a red low cut shirt for the festive season was what Helga had decided to wear. Spending Christmas with her family was nothing if not absolutely horrifying and so she had called a few old friends and found a party she could get drunk at. She knew Arnold and everyone was home but she wasn't up to seeing them yet. Not until she could get nice and loose with some booze.

Helga breathed through her nose as the contents of her stomach lurched, finding solace that this wasn't the first time she struggled to keep her liquor down. After a minute or two, she felt better and opened the door to the bathroom. Everything was spinning. Helga swore under her breath and walked to where here coat was. She slipped it on and made her way up the stairs. It was a struggle but she made it only for the cold air and slippery ground to almost defeat her. Holding onto a light pole, Helga hurled her lunch onto the curb. Her head was pounding and she felt like week old garbage. Finding some gum in her pocket, she chewed slowly while she sat at a stoop.

"Helga?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm drunk off my ass, thank you very much," Helga grinned, looking proud of herself. "The fuck 're you doing here, Gerald?"

"I'm heading over to Arnold's," he frowned, staring at her. "We've missed you over Thanksgiving."

"I didn't come home," Helga rubbed her face. "I spent it with a nice pot of ramen, a bottle of cheap wine and then some wine coolers."

"Yeah, Phoebe told me that you blew off your family. You could have stayed at one of our places."

"For Thanksgiving? Everyone has their family over and I would have been an inconvenience. And I don't have any money for a fancy hotel like _Olga_ does."

"She's here for Christmas I'm guessing?"

"Of _fucking _course she is," Helga hid her face in her hands. "As much as I love Phoebe, I'm too much of a slob to stay at her place."

"You're drinking too much," Gerald helped her up. "Come on, you can sober up at Arnold's."

"NO."

"Oh come on," Gerald held her arm tightly. "What's worse, going to Arnold's or heading back to your parents? Some humility can bring you back to who you really are."

"And who am I, Gerald? A fucking idiot for pining for Arnold for years and then stupidly confessing to him about it," Helga felt the tears.

"Phoebe and Arnold didn't tell me about it," he sighed. "But I figured that was the reason why you left so quickly without saying good-bye."

"Am I so obvious?"

"No, but we're too close for that shit," Gerald placed an arm around her shoulders. "I have your Christmas present at my house."

"Return it. I'm too poor to buy presents," Helga sighed. "My dad paid tuition for the full year but that's it. And I had a job but the manager was trying to get me in bed. When he realized I wasn't going for it, he made it so I quit."

"You didn't report him?"

"I did," Helga tumbled over her feet. Thankfully, he caught her. "Fuck!"

"It's okay," Gerald smiled. "It's good to hear you swear."

"It's good to see you, hair boy," Helga stopped and hugged him. "I feel awful for telling Arnold and ruining everything."

"You didn't ruin shit," Gerald thumped her head with his hand. "Wake up. You had to tell him before you busted a nut."

"I don't exactly have nuts."

"Busted an ovary."

"Fine," Helga sighed.

"You took the only chance you could where it wouldn't have thrown his relationship out of whack. If Arnold is stupid enough to be mad at you for waiting when he was drooling over Lila, he's an idiot."

"I suppose."

"And you're not a bad person," Gerald turned his back at him and gestured with his thumbs. "You look like you're about to pass out. Come on."

"Kay..."

"Man, you must really be drunk if you're agreeing to whatever I say," Gerald laughed. "Give me money, Helga."

"Fuck you. Mush!"

**oxo**

"So, you just want her to crash on my couch," Arnold asked, looking bewildered at Helga's sudden appearance.

"She's your friend too," Gerald frowned. "The only reason she isn't crashing on my couch is because Timberly's having a Christmas sleepover."

"That sounds like fun."

"It isn't," Gerald rolled his eyes. "Eggnog everywhere."

"And Phoebe?"

"... Really? Think about how many family members she has between parents."

"Good point," Arnold sighed.

"Listen, if its that much of an issue to you, the person who always has a couch for _everyone_ else, I'll shell out some cash for a hotel," Gerald glared at him.

"You don't understand-"

"I do," Gerald shrugged. "She told me what happened."

"Then you can understand why this is awkward for me and … Lila."

"She's at her grandparents' farm, and has no cellphone reception. Honestly, Arnold... you really think that Helga would try to sabotage your relationship with Ms. Perfect?"

"Don't call her that, Gerald."

"Well, she is," he sighed. "And you could do better."

"I love her."

"Well, love can be pretty stupid, just like you're acting," Gerald reached into his pocket and tossed Arnold a gift. "That's yours, man."

"Thanks, Gerald."

"Is she crashing?"

"Of course she is," Arnold sighed. "She's my friend after all."

"Idiot."

"Whatever _you_ say, Gerald," he replied, throwing out his thumb for their traditional handshake.

When Arnold went upstairs with an extra blanket and a pillow, he found Helga on his couch just like Gerald had gently left her. Shoes were in the corner and the coat was over her legs to keep her from getting too cold. Hair fell over her cheeks and she looked comfortable even though Arnold was sure she was trying to sleep off the amount of booze she had consumed. Pictures on facebook had given him the impression that she was a veteran when it came to drinking. He never pictured as such but he couldn't really judge her. He spread out a warm blanket over her body and stared at her for a moment before going to the bathroom and bringing a small trash can for her to throw up in.

**oxo**

Helga woke up with a familiar feeling of wanting to throw up everything in her stomach and then some. Sitting up, she looked around and found the trash can by the couch she was sleeping and shoved her face in it, purging herself of anything she had eaten for the past _week_. After dry heaving for a moment, Helga gently put it back on the floor and sat against the couch breathlessly. She felt awful but at least had the badge of honor of beating Harold into the ground for most tequila shots drunk. Helga remembered briefly that she was in Arnold's house and in a mad dash, she tumbled off the couch and found her shoes. In the middle of jumping up and down, trying to fit them (wrongly) on her feet, Arnold came in with two plates of breakfast and bottles of water. He watched her from the doorway with amusement before he coughed and made himself known.

"Uh," Helga slowly put her foot down and blushed heavily. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to make me wonder what you do when sober," Arnold chuckled and handed over a plate.

"We've been friends for years," Helga raised an eyebrow. "What's this?"

"Eggs Benedict with a side of fresh melon and some bacon, because breakfast isn't breakfast without bacon," Arnold sliced into his food and took a bite.

"You cooked this?"

"I've learned a thing or two."

"I'm impressed," Helga accepted water. Arnold handed over a few pills. "Aspirin? Thank you!"

"I thought it might help," he munched on his food. "So how's school?"

"Normal," Helga shrugged, curled up on the couch. "I passed all my classes with flying colors."

"Same here," Arnold sighed. "But I miss you checking my papers to make sure they're accurate."

"You can if you want," she ate her last piece of bacon. "I'll send you the corrections through email."

"That's not what I mean, Helga."

"Yes, but I'm avoiding the obvious because it's kind of uncomfortable."

"Helga, you're still my friend."

"I'm your friend with feelings that aren't exactly _friendly_..."

"So, we can't be what we used to?"

"That's impossible."

"Why?"

"You want me to go back and take back what I felt," Helga sighed, chugging her water.

"No. I just... don't want you to be distant," Arnold shrugged. "I miss you."

"I'm doing my best to forget," Helga held out the empty bottle of water. "It's just hard, okay?"

"Are you coming over for Christmas tomorrow," he asked.

"Sure," Helga smiled. "If it's okay with you."

"Always, Helga."

**xox**

Helga came home to a warm house full of lights, eggnog, and a huge tree with tons of presents. The sad thing was that, besides one or two gifts from her brother-in-law, nothing was for her. She could smell the turkey roasting in the oven. It was Olga's most delicious recipe that Big Bob couldn't live without. Hanging her coat at the door, she could hear everyone in the living room. Using the blind spots, she was able to get upstairs and and take a very long shower that left her with a few less skin layers than she was used to. Popping a few aspirin and taking a very small shot of whiskey she kept underneath the sink, she felt human again.

She pulled out a pair of dress slacks and a white cami along with her bra and underwear. Dressing quickly, it would only be a matter of time before she was called by Bob or dragged down by Olga. So avoiding the chance of being caught half-dressed, she moved and dried her hair with a blow-drier. She allowed her hair to curl at the ends and brushed it until it shined. Adding a bit of make-up, she was capping her mascara when there was a knock at the door. She didn't even get a chance to allow anyone come in before Olga barged in.

"Baby sister!"

"My name is Helga."

"I know, but I just always know you as my darling, little, _baby_ sister," Olga simpered as Helga shoved her feet into her boots with unusual ferocity. "It's almost time for dinner, baby sister. You should come down! The doctor faxed over the pictures of my ultrasound!"

"Fantastic."

"And I managed to burn a DVD so you can all have a copy," Olga cooed, touching her belly. She wasn't more than twelve weeks pregnant.

"Great."

"I'm so happy, baby sister! And Lila is coming to visit for Christmas."

"Oh."

"I'll be downstairs with Greg, baby sister. Come down when you're ready."

Helga sat on the bed in frustration. She didn't want to see Lila at all and now, all of a sudden, she was coming to their dinner. And most likely, she would be going to Arnold's as well. They had gotten back together about a month after they had broken up. Phoebe had kept her informed even though she had been miffed that she left without saying goodbye. But as her best friend, she had understood why and had made it so that things were okay. Helga raked back her hair and wondered how fast she could leave Hillwood and still be polite.

**xox**

Helga parked her car across the street from Arnold's house and sighed nervously. The backseat was already packed with her things and another box of books she had decided to bring along. Helga fiddled with the present she had bought Arnold. She didn't have much money but had gone out and purchased him something he would really like. _Lil_-a probably probably went out and snatched him up clothes. There had been quite a few pictures on facebook forced into clothing that didn't fit him properly. Helga bit her lip and got out of the car, walking over to the boarding house. Knocking quietly, she was surprised to see Arnold up this early. He looked pleased to see her.

"I didn't know you were coming over this early," he said, hugging her.

"Yeah, uh... I kind of have to leave today," Helga saw him frown deeply. "I just wanted to stop by and bring you your gift."

"I would call gift enough if you stayed."

"Trust me, Arnold... I have to leave today," she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "But I just wanted to say good-bye since the last time I left, I didn't get to."

"You punched me."

"That too."

"Can't you at least take a walk with me? I'm going to go buy some groceries."

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope," Arnold laughed and closed the door behind him. "Come on."

They walked together, laughing and reveling in the holiday spirit and spent an hour in the store just joking around and enjoying the company. Helga helped him carry back the stuff he bought and even went inside to put all the groceries away. She sat on a chair while he made them hot cocoa and was even thinking about staying for the rest of the of vacation when a deliciously sweet and sinister voice called out his name. Helga cringed and grabbed her back, wondering if she could leave through the back. Unfortunately, Lila came inside and merely stared at her a half second longer than necessary before she skittered over to Arnold and curled up into his arms.

"I have to go, football-head," Helga said, grinning. "I'll see you when Spring Break comes around."

"Okay, Helga," he waved, busily paying attention to his girlfriend.

Helga managed to keep her emotions in check long enough to get into her car and onto the freeway before she started crying. Her face was blotchy and she ignored the dozen or so phone calls that tried getting her attention and sped off back to school. Back to her bed and her loneliness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Spring Break

Helga sat in the waiting room, wincing in pain as Phoebe turned in all the paperwork and returned quickly. She shifted to make her agitation a little better but nothing helped. An hour later, one of the nurses called her back to get her vitals and give her a room in the back. Phoebe wasn't allowed in with her so she sat quietly while her blood was drawn and she was given a gown to get dressed in. Helga changed quickly and waited for the doctor to come in, which took another half hour or so. The door opened and an older lady walked in with a chart.

"Helga, yes?"

"Right."

"Well, we're just waiting for your tests to come back but I'm going to have to give you a pelvic exam."

"Okay," Helga sighed, gingerly lying down. Her back began to spasm and she groaned.

"When was the last time you had your period," the doctor asked, gently pressing around her abdomen.

"About two or three months ago," Helga gasped. "I've been working on mid-terms. I thought it was stress."

"And are you sexually active?"

"Yes."

"I see," she replied, grabbing some gloves. "I'm going to do an exploratory exam. You're going to need to spread your legs and place your feet on the stirrups."

Helga tensed as the doctor got up and went outside for a moment. The only reason why she had come to the doctor was at the insistence of Phoebe who had caught her in a lie about the bleeding. It had started suddenly, almost like a period. But... it wasn't like a usual cycle. The back spasms and feverish night she passed was enough for her friend to google the symptoms and force her to come to Planned Parenthood. Sure, Helga had sex in college. It was normal and anyone who said otherwise was still a virgin. The guy she was kind of seeing used condoms every time. This had to be something more serious. Helga was still pensive when the doctor came back with a tray of devices and a nurse to help.

"Okay, Helga, I need you to breathe," she murmured. "You're going to feel very uncomfortable."

She was still and tried not to move but it was so awkward and the dull ache all over her body didn't help either. It took a few more minutes before the doctor finished up and removed her gloves. The nurse wrote a few things in her chart and left the room. The doctor followed and returned with some paperwork.

"Well," the doctor murmured, reading quickly. "It seems that you're having a miscarriage, Helga."

"_What?"_

"You're having a miscarriage."

Helga blanked out after that. She knew she was given medication and instructions but she wasn't able to respond to Phoebe's questions. All she knew was that as soon as they got to Phoebe's house, she was put to bed. Five minutes later, she fell asleep, trying to forget what had happened.

**Xox**

"Can you stop yelling at me for a second," Helga sighed, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "I didn't even know I was pregnant!"

"How could you _not_ know? Maybe I wanted that baby?"

"Look up miscarriage, you idiot," she hissed. "The fetus wasn't viable to live in my body. It was a fluke."

"You-you must have done something," he cried. "How could you?"

"Are you kidding me," Helga said, looking upset. "I didn't _do_ anything!"

"This is just God's punishment," he whispered. "Premarital sex and the drinking, I thought I could escape the Church-"

"I thought you were an atheist," Helga groaned.

"I lied," he whined. "I can't be with you, Helga."

"I figured," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Thanks for being here for me. It was your fault too."

"You did something to kill the baby."

"Sure."

Helga hung up on him and in a fit of anger, sent her phone careening into the wall with all her force. It was no surprise that Phoebe came rushing up the stairs and saw that her best friend was weeping silently on the floor. Her phone was scattered into pieces on the carpet. Quickly, she went over and sat down, holding Helga in her small arms.

"What happened?"

"He blamed it all on me," she sniffed. "Like it's my fault. The fetus wouldn't have lived anyway. I would have gotten an abortion."

"I know, Helga."

"The clinic gave me some birth control," Helga wiped her face. "I'm gonna start it once I finish my anti-biotic medication"

"I'm so sorry, Helga. I'm here for you."

"I know," she whispered. "I just wish I didn't have to go the party tonight."

"We can stay in," Phoebe said instantly. "It isn't a big deal."

"It's Arnold's birthday. We have to be there," Helga sighed. "You know Lila messaged me the other day saying that she still knew I had feelings for Arnold?"

"No, you didn't! What happened?"

"She told me that while she can't keep us from being friends, she isn't going to let me steal him away from her," Helga laughed. "I still love him but I'm not that cruel."

"I'm going to have a few words with her tonight," Phoebe murmured.

"No, it's okay."

"You can't change my mind," Phoebe sighed. "Are you sure you want to go to the party?"

"I really don't but I can't stand letting that football-head down."

"Okay," Phoebe glanced at her friend's phone. "I have an extra cell phone if you need it."

"I'll just have the company replace it," Helga shrugged. "Bob doesn't charge me for anything. It's the one thing he's good at. Besides, I want an upgrade."

"Alright," Phoebe hugged her friend. "I'm going to go make a phone call."

"Have fun."

Phoebe pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Gerald's number patiently. She got voicemail and hung up. It was only a matter of time before he did call back, which he did, while she was making Helga something light to eat. Turning off the heat on the stove, she picked up her phone and pressed the button to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi, baby. What's going on? Sorry I didn't pick up. I was helping Arnold get ready for his big party."

"It's understandable," Phoebe murmured, cutting up an apple. "So, there's a bit of an issue."

"What, are you okay? Do you need me to go over there?"

"I'm fine, Gerald," she replied. "Helga isn't."

"Oh. Is she okay?"

"No," Phoebe sighed. "I don't think it's a good idea that we go to the party. I'm thinking of convincing her to stay with me."

"But it's Arnold's birthday! You can't miss out," a voice in the background asked what was going on. "I think it's fair you tell us why."

"Helga isn't feeling well."

"So... she's got the cold?"

"No, not quite," Phoebe bit her lip.

"Then what? Rhonda is throwing a serious party! There are some cool fire dancers and a sushi buffet. I think... uh... a guy who makes balloon animals!"

"Gerald, I wouldn't be trying to get out of this if there wasn't a good reason."

"Then tell me," he grunted. "Arnold is over here all worried now."

"You know I took Helga to the doctor."

"Phoebe, you're beating around the bush."

"Oh dear," she sighed. "Helga had a miscarriage."

"... what?"

"You heard me," Phoebe sniffled. "And while she's acting brave and like nothing happened, I know that she feels alone."

"Phoebe," Gerald whispered, sounding upset. Arnold spoke in the ground. "... No... uh... Helga had a miscarriage. Yeah..."

"Gerald, is this not a good reason for us to stay home?"

"Phoebe, we're coming over."

"That's not a good idea-"

The phone hung up before she could make a decent argument. Sighing softly, she finished the soup without protest. Helga liked warm clam chowder and Phoebe made it so well, just like so many other things. It simmered while she placed sliced fruit and orange juice on a tray. Trying the chowder, she added a bit more butter before going upstairs with the snacks. Helga was showered and sitting on her bed with a towel on her head and a small bag of makeup on the bed.

"I brought you something to eat," Phoebe placed it next to her.

"I've always wondered why you take care of me," Helga whispered, taking a bite of apple. "When I've been such a shitty friend."

"You have your moments, Helga. But you are my best friend and have been by my side since we were kids," Phoebe hugged her tightly. "I can't see my life without you."

"You're so cheesy," Helga snickered, hugging her back. "I love you."

"I love you too, Helga. Oh, the boys are coming over right now."

"God damn it."

"I'm sorry but I tried to explain to them why we couldn't go-"

"Phoebe, I can go."

"You shouldn't."

"They know?"

"..."

"I wish you hadn't," Helga sighed tiredly. "Is there any chance I can hide myself in your room and still be polite?"

"That isn't an option," Phoebe glanced over at her friend's unusually somber face. "Unless you're mourning?"

"No, it's not that," Helga muttered. "I don't want to ever be pregnant."

"Helga..."

"I just don't want to talk about it, Pheebs. Let me get dressed properly and I'll come down. I swear."

"Okay."

It took an hour for Helga to come down from the room. Her "boyfriend" had emailed her twice, trying to get her to admit that had gotten an abortion. Helga had called from the house phone to scream bloody murder at him. It took some deep sobbing and pillow punching before she threw on a large and baggy sweater with skinny jeans. Her hair was in a sloppy bun and her face was blotchy from scrubbing it in the sink. Tiredly, she heard voices as she approached the living room where Phoebe and guys were waiting for her. Arnold looked particularly stricken at the news of her "loss", so to speak.

"I'm fine," Helga emphasized. "Honestly, it isn't as big of a deal as you all think."

"Should you even be walking," Arnold asked, taking her arm and leading her to the couch. "You should be resting. Don't worry about the party, you just recover."

"I can't, that wouldn't be fair and it's Spring Break," Helga groaned. "Guys, I'm not upset or sad. I just need a few hours. The cramps are fucking awful."

"You always act so fucking strong," Gerald sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "This isn't about how you feel. Didn't the doctor recommend bed rest?"

"Yup," Helga shrugged. "I didn't even know I was pregnant and if it wasn't for Phoebe, I wouldn't have told any of you."

"Well that sure makes me feel better," Gerald cried out in exasperation.

"Gerald, this isn't about you," Arnold snapped. "Helga just had a miscarriage."

"And I want to go to the party," she said. "I bought a new dress for the occasion, I'd like to use it."

"There's no point in arguing, is there," Arnold asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope, if I have to hoof to the party, I will," Helga sighed. "Jeez, I'm having the worst cramps ever and you guys are making them worse. Do I have to un-retired Ole Betsy?"

"No," Arnold chuckled. "Fine, just take it easy at the party."

"I guess it's settled," Gerald muttered. "You better not get pregnant again."

"Right," Arnold suddenly felt uncomfortable which was strange. Was it the fact that he knew Helga was sexually active? "We better get going."

An hour later, after they had all finished Phoebe's clam chowder, the boys left to help finish the arrangements for the party. Helga decided to jump into the shower to start getting ready. After such a shitty morning, she felt it was good time for change and to look her absolute best. Helga knew Rhonda well enough to envision how extravagant the shindig would be.

Phoebe jumped into the shower almost as soon as she was done with it. Dressed in a robe, Helga did her make up and rubbed lotion into her skin. Once done, she plugged in the curler and dryer and turned her hair from a knotted mess to a mass of curls that fell over her shoulders. Phoebe was wandering around the room, doing her own prep for the party. She donned a lovely lavender dress that wrapped around like a kimono and was shorter than Helga had ever seen. From her closet, she pulled out a pair of platform high heels.

Helga noticed the time and slapped on the strapless bra before slipping into her A-line dress that ruffled from the waist down. The thin straps were delicate and the same lovely coral color that she had fallen in love with as soon as she found it online. Her own shoes were simple heels in black that she could walk in. Nothing too complicated.

"I'm ready," Helga said, adjusting her rack inappropriately. "Should we go."

"Your coat," Phoebe replied, handing it over. "I like it, by the way. Where did you get it?"

"This one store back at school. I'll get you the website later."

"Okay," her friend smiled. "Let's go."

Helga was quiet on the ride to the party. She had been thinking at how nice and understanding Arnold was being with her. It was odd since he knew all about the feelings she had over him. But in the end, he stood by her side. It was strange and weird. She didn't know how to handle it. And apparently, he and Lila were on a break. Could she make a move?

The party had turned into a real life Hula Party where there were fire and hula dancers. Two large tables were filled to the brink with food and there were two Djs in different rooms where they were playing all kinds of music. Tons of people were mingling and there were ice sculptures where liquor was poured down through for shots. There were kegs of beer, real fire pits and quite a few waiters carrying around appetizers. The chaos of the acquired setting proved to be difficult but worth it to Rhonda who had gone out of her way rent a beach house right on the beach itself. Helga was thankful she had gone dressed up rather than dressed down.

"Ooh, little shrimp," Helga quipped, taking three as the waiter passed by. "This is a serious shindig."

"It's amazing," Phoebe murmured, watching the fire-dancers spin wildly around to impress.

"I know," Gerald commented from behind, making both the girls jump.

"The FUCK, Johannsen," Helga cried, dropping her food. "Great, now I have to find that waiter again."

"Arnold has been all a flutter," Gerald said, ignoring her outburst. "Wondering if you guys were going to make it. And to be fair, Rhonda went all out for this party."

"We noticed," Helga replied dryly.

"It truly is an eyeful," Phoebe smiled, hugging her boyfriend. "Is Arnold okay?"

"Come on, they put a freakin' crown on the poor boy," Gerald led them inside.

True to his word, Arnold was sitting at a table, tapping his fingers impatiently on the table with a paper crown on his oddly shaped head. Rhonda had clearly taken him shopping by the way he was dressed with the pressed black slacks, navy button down shirt and a black jacket. Helga gulped inaudibly at the sight of him but made no outward expression that anyone could notice. Gerald rushed over and smacked his best friend on his back, laughing at his surprise to see the girls there, dressed to the nines. The genuine smile that he gave her filled her to the tips of her toes and she couldn't help but return it.

"You both look simply beautiful," Arnold said, completely honest. "I thought you wouldn't show up."

"Come on," Helga laughed. "It's a party by Rhonda, you always come or you die."

"Helga," Phoebe admonished. "Could we sit at your table, Arnold?"

"Of course, these are the seats I asked for you guys."

They managed to wrangle a waiter into bringing them food and ate while chatting, laughing and such. It wasn't long before something spoiled the fun. And of course, it had to be the she-demon, Lila, who was dressed prettily to ruin the moment. Helga sneered at her passing while she made a B-line for Arnold. Gerald only stared at her, making the approach all the more awkward as Arnold nodded, accepting her presence for the time being.

"Happy Birthday, Arnold," Lila murmured, tucking her hair back innocently. "I hope it has been ever so much fun."

"It's been great, Lila," he replied coolly.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you? It is ever so important."

"Actually, I can't right now."

"Oh," she pouted. "But you'll really like it!"

"Maybe later," Arnold glanced at Gerald. "I've promised to stay with them for the rest of the night. And I'm a man of my word."

"Of course, I understand," Lila's gaze settled on Helga. "I'll talk to you later then, Arnold."

"The nerve," Phoebe hissed as Lila left. "After she breaks up with you last week? Incredible."

"Well, at least she's not here right now," Helga laughed, elated at the news. "Hey, come on guys, let's get bombed."

"Not too bombed..."

As it turned out that night, Phoebe managed to do a Keg Stand with a little help from Gerald. She wasn't drunk at the end of the night but if she pressed herself a little closer to her boyfriend than usual, no one really noticed. Helga had Arnold do a shot off onezr of the sculptures and did two of her own. A couple mixed drinks between them, they were settled into a couch together, buzzed as hell and no way to get home. Rhonda laughed and had already arranged a cab for everyone that couldn't drive. When she went all out, she went all fucking hell out, thought Helga.

Laughing, she slipped off her shoes and motioned to go use the bathroom. It took a bit of explaining from one of the waiters but she managed to find one that didn't have a long line. After waiting a bit, she managed to use it and come out only to be pulled into a dark room a moment later. Stumbling onto the floor, the light from outside made it easier to realize that the culprit was Lila. Helga stood unsteadily and stared at the girl with contempt and was already planning on beating her down when she spoke.

"I can't believe that _you_ could ever steal Arnold from me," she hissed.

"I didn't do shit," Helga snapped. "I told him how I felt and he went back to you. What the fuck do you want with me? I was rejected and now we're just friends. What, _precisely_, do you want, Princess?"

"I was going to give him my virginity tonight," Lila cried. "But he's so infatuated with you that he can't see me!"

"I didn't DO anything," Helga cried, looking upset. "He's my friend! He doesn't want to see me as anything else and I don't need to be told by you that I can't be attracted to him by you. You can't tell me what to feel and I'll be damned as a fucking _Pataki_ if I take this shit from you."

"Oh please, you think can offer him stability," Lila asked, smiling. "I can offer him all the things he needs. You can't even offer him your friendship without messing that up."

"I haven't... that's a lie," Helga whispered, hesitance tainting her voice. "I don't know what you're going on about and if you want to sleep with Arnold, be my guest. But you're the one that keeps fucking up by dumping him all the time. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to spend any time with you."

"Oh please, drop the act," Lila sighed. "You want to steal Arnold from me. It's why you dressed up so nicely."

"I wanted to look good for the party," Helga said defensively.

"So you never thought about Arnold when you bought that dress?"

"I kind of had to, it is his birthday."

"God, you're pathetic," Lila rolled her eyes. "You could be an adult about this and just tell me the truth."'

"I'm going back to the party," Helga grunted. "And I don't want to see you for the rest of it. Leave me the fuck alone."

Helga blinked hard to keep the tears away from her eyes. As she left the room hurriedly, she turned and slammed right into Arnold who looked upset and disgusted. He brushed back the hair that tangled in her eyes and kissed her forehead before he walked into the room where Lila was. The door slammed closed and there were muffled yells from the room. Without a word, Helga approached Rhonda for a ride home. Instead of questioning the puffy eyes and the tremble in her voice, she only motioned for one of the waiters to call a cab. Within an hour, Helga was home with a mass of text messages, all of which she ignored. Her face still had makeup when she collapsed into bed.

What did the kiss mean?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Summer: Incident #1

**Dedicated to my best friend, Lupin, who has been a wonderful inspiration in my life and whose going to be popping out her own little crotch-fruit next month. Love you, boo.**

**xox**

Helga was slouched in a hospital chair, fiddling around with the necklace that Gerald had given her for Christmas. She was tired and mentally exhausted from all the drama that had been going on since she first stepped in at home for the summer.

Olga, it seemed, was under a lot of stress due to the pregnancy. It was rough on her because of her narrow hips she possessed and the sudden onset of diabetes. She struggled to find out as much as possible and was told that she could do the birth naturally but there was a high chance of Preeclampsia. Turned out that the doctor was right when she hit thirty weeks. Inducing labor was the only chance for the baby and Olga to come out of it alive. Her fiance, Greg, was waiting with Bob while her mother was in the room with the eldest.

"Helga," Gerald huffed, coming over to her with Arnold in tow. "Where's Pheebs?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," Helga snapped bitterly. "She went to get me a coffee while I try to sleep in these fucked up seats."

"They can't be that bad," Arnold shrugged.

"I'm about to shove Olga the Perfect off that damn bed," Helga groaned. "This is exhausting."

"It's okay," Arnold sat next to her. "That's why we're here."

"Then you stay and I'll go home and sleep," Helga whined. Her phone rang and she stood up. "I have to take this."

"Who's that, your boyfriend," coaxed Gerald with a fiendish grin.

"Actually, yeah," Helga stuck out her tongue at him.

Arnold didn't seem fazed at first that she had a boyfriend. He had known for weeks that she and "James" had been casually dating and doing fun stuff during the day while he worked as a bartender at nights when school was going on. He was a few years older than her and they enjoyed the company from each other but it was nothing serious up until a week ago when they went on a fishing trip. Helga had come back with necklace the James wore all the time and he wore Helga's graduation ring from High School. It was strange for Arnold to accept Helga as someone's girlfriend and not just his very best friend after Gerald.

He wasn't dating Lila anymore. It wasn't that she was a bad person but he had outgrown her years ago and only now was he realizing that the reason they had broken up and gotten back together so often was because of the familiarity of each other. There was no appeal of going out there and finding someone better when there was someone who already knew you so well. It was the passivity that broke them apart. Arnold couldn't be forced to care anymore.

On his birthday, Lila had cornered him into a dark room somewhere upstairs where she professed her undying love for him. When he rejected her, she mewed her way into his arms and they ended up having sex. Arnold woke up first and collected his clothing, leaving her with note telling her that they weren't meant to be. At the time, he didn't realize that it was social suicide. Still, people knew about their relationship enough that Arnold only had to endure hostile attitudes for about a week. Now he knew better than to dump someone anyway but in person. Lila no longer talked to him except when she had to. It didn't bother him that much anyway, he thought. Blinking, he watched Helga sauntered over to them with a smile on her lips.

"He might drive down tomorrow. I think it'd be nice to have him meet yo- Oh my god, coffee," Helga said, immediately distracted by Phoebe's gift of caffeine. She took a long drink of it. "Yes... that is heaven."

"Glad to see you boys made it," Phoebe quipped.

"Yeah, we were playing basketball," Arnold had the grace to look apologetic.

"Our phones were on silent," Gerald explained. "Sorry we were late."

"I hate you guys," Helga sighed. "I had to comfort the great and _noble_ Olga. Oh, and little Princess Perfect showed up not too long ago."

"Lila," Arnold asked, looking upset.

"Well, the Big Sister, Little sister shit is still happening with their tiny brains. I don't know-don't ask."

"Well that's great."

"Suck it up."

"Not that easy."

It took four hours before the doctors to decide to do a Cesarean on Olga. Her parents rushed to her side while Helga waited next to her friends, pensive and quiet. When she was allowed to go in, she went alone. Helga still refused to let anyone but Phoebe see her cry. When she walked out, her eyes were a little puffy and pink. Her voice, however, was steady.

"I think I'm going home for a few hours and come back later."

"I can drive you," Arnold stated. Phoebe had used her car to bring Helga.

"'Kay."

Helga was quiet on the way to her house. Her parents weren't going anywhere. Bob had even taken a few vacation days just so he could stay and help with the baby as soon as it was plopped out. She wasn't going to be happy during the few weeks that Olga and her husband were crashing. Miriam had filled the bedroom they were staying in with a mass of baby supplies. Helga watched on bitterly, deprived from her parents' love. Perfect Olga, daughter of the year, the most amazing person in the world never needed to fight for the attention like she did and she was resentful.

"I wish I could go back to school,"Helga said, surprising him.

"Why," Arnold asked.

"So I could avoid all this Olga worship."

"I'm sorry," Arnold sighed, pulling over in front of Helga's house. "Do you want to be alone or...?"

"Come in for some coffee," she asked. Her voice was dull but eyes said something different.

"Sure."

Inside, Helga dropped her purse on the table and mechanically turned to on the coffee and pull out some mugs. She preferred hers milky and sweet while Arnold took his black. Together they sipped on their coffee quietly while the house exuded emptiness. He finished his drink and washed the mug while Helga sat in her seat, lost in a sea of thoughts.

"Helga," Arnold paused, waiting for her to look up. "Are you alright?"

"Not really," she replied, shaking her head. "It just sucks that I'm almost always being rejected."

"Oh," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Umm, I'm sorry-"

"I wasn't looking for your pity," Helga shrugged. "It's just the truth that people don't value me the way I should be."

"Helga-"

"It's the truth," she stared at him. "You should go. I'm going to take a shower."

"Fine," Arnold nodded, knowing that she needed space. "Text me later, okay?"

"Thanks, and I will."

Helga removed the clip from her hair and tumbling ripples of blond hair fell all over the place. Arnold could smell the expensive shampoo from the doorway as he walked away. It was the same orange mango blend she wore when she was in town. He stopped and glanced over to her where she was removing split ends from her hair absently. Arnold waved a casual goodbye before closing the door behind him. Wonderingly, he spent the rest of the way home trying to find an explanation of why he was so curious about the hair of Helga G. Pataki.

O0O

The water slushed down her back, nearly scalding her with the heat of it all. Helga didn't care that much either way. Her body felt dull and there wasn't much that could wake her up from this funk. An hour later, she wrapped a towel around her body and head. Reaching into her purse, Helga noticed she had a call from Bob. The voicemail only had him swearing violently at her. She bit her lip hard, drawing blood as she tried not to cry. A few minutes later, she reached Phoebe's voicemail as well. Instead of leaving anything, she called one last person who did pick up.

"Helga?"

"Hey football-head, busy?"

"Ah, a little. Why?"

"I need to get out of my house before I find Bob's shotgun."

"A little morbid, don't you think?"

"Can we go do something fun?"

"I'll be there in an hour. Don't do anything stupid, promise?"

"I promise."

With great effort, Helga changed into some jeans and a casual top. The rain they had been talking about was rolling in already so she grabbed her jacket and shoved herself into it. Helga threw on some makeup and wrapped her hair in a messy bun. Tendrils of golden strands fell over her face. She was almost ready by the time Arnold pulled up. She jammed on her trusty converse and raced down the stairs, opening the door wide before slamming it behind her.

OoO

Pure jazz played from Arnold's car as they were stretched out on the back as they counted stars together. Arnold tried hard to keep her from beating him and it all turned into a tickle fight where it just became a little heated. But Helga was smart enough to let it pass. If Arnold ever decided that he wanted something, he had to make the first move. Besides, there was the question of James...

He was a great guy; loved books and could quote from the cheesiest chick flicks (he had four older sisters) and knew what it was like to live under the strain of successful siblings. He couldn't write, which was why she tutored him in English. She hardly expected it to be more than just that but he asked her on a date and from there, it flourished. He made her laugh and had the most intense green eyes she ever stared into.

But...

He wasn't Arnold.

James had no idea her heart was already spoken for. No matter how much she liked James, he still fell short of Arnold and his kind and sweet spirit. Even his large over-sized head was a turn on of sorts. Helga was completely smitten with James, he was a very nice guy and didn't judge her when she was being a tad mean to him. But he _wasn't_ Arnold!

"Let's go outside and catch some air," Helga offered, slowly pulling down her shirt from the ever curious hands of Arnold.

"We'll catch a cold," he replied, looking flushed.

"Doesn't matter," Helga smiled. "We're still kids. College kids, but still."

"When you're right, you're right," Arnold opened the creaking door carefully.

"I'm always right," she said, chuckling. The rain was a steady trickle.

"Come on, then," Arnold offered her a hand, which she took.

Helga smelled the wet dirt as she stood in a tank top and skinny jeans. The ground was muddy and the grass was smeared with it. Arnold splashed in a puddle as she stared quietly. "Tenderly" began to play by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. The heavy trumpet and smooth wail of the instruments held Helga on the spot as she swayed softly. Arnold approached and she took the hand that was offered as they began to move to the music.

He held her close as they danced under a tumultuous sky, her head resting on his shoulder as his hands held her waist close. Her pulse was beating quickly when he took her hand and spin her with grace and brought her back, pressed against his body. Helga bit her lip, struggling not to make it more than it was. But what was it in the first place? Could it be maybe that he wanted her? Perhaps just once?

And then... What?

The rain poured harder over them as the song came to a gentle end and slowly, they came to a stop. Helga looked up at him, hoping nothing and everything happened. He only kissed her forehead and smiled brightly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders in a friendly matter.

"Come on," he said, grinning. "I better take you home. You'll catch a cold."

"Oh, right," Helga blinked, waking her from her stupid dreams. She would cry tonight. "Don't want that."

"Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"James taught me."

"Oh."

"He's really good," Helga reminded herself she had a boyfriend. "He's always trying to impress me."

"Is he coming to visit for the summer," Arnold's voice was slightly stiff.

"In a week or two," Helga genuinely was excited to see him.

But he wasn't Arnold.

Not by a long shot.

O0O

The baby was gorgeous.

All ten fingers and ten toes were perfect. The eyes were a dark blue but that seemed to change at every hour. It was a chubby thing with lungs that could compete with Helga's own. When she was told to stay with the baby while everyone else went to get something to eat, she nearly left little Robert (named after Bob) alone but she wasn't that cruel. The kid had stolen her heart the moment he was shoved in her arms. He was eight pounds and something ounces was all that she had taken before little Robert cooed at her.

Helga was fucked.

After changing a dirty diaper and feeding little Robert, there was a knock at the door. Picking up the baby and swinging it over her hip, she opened to see Phoebe, Gerald and Arnold with a pizza and snacks. Raising an eyebrow, she asked for an explanation.

"We saw Olga's facebook bragging about her wonderful sister being the babysitter," Gerald grumbled.

"And we didn't think that was the exact truth," Arnold piped up.

"Plus we thought you might shove the baby underneath the sink."

"Well, I'm glad you guys are so trusting of my skills," Helga motioned them inside. "But I babysat for a good five years," she paused. "And I only shoved a few of them in the dryer."

"As long as no one dies," Phoebe quipped, grabbing some napkins from the kitchen.

"Too true," Gerald set the case of root beer in the fridge and popping it open, taking four out. "I wasn't that scared though. She never really did beat us up."

"That's because you're my best friend's boyfriend," Helga placed the baby on the couch next to her.

"What's his name," Arnold asked, sitting opposite side of her.

"Robert. I'm going to turn him into a lean, mean, fighting machine. He will be a beast of a man," Helga cackled evilly.

"Oh no," Phoebe rolled her eyes. "How will anyone live with two evil Patakis?"

"Evil? I'm mortally wounded, Pheebs. I prefer 'amoral bitch', thank you."

"Fine, that," Phoebe laughed.

The pizza was as big as it was gooey with three kinds of cheeses. There were Doritos and Helga stole Olga's precious B&J's from the fridge. The baby fussed once or twice but it only took a few minutes of Helga rocking him back and forth with her arms, to calm him, which her friends were quite weirded out by. She was never gentle, even when no one but them could see.

"I think Robert needs a diaper change," Gerald said, gagging.

"Yup," Phoebe held her nose delicately.

"Okay, I'm getting up," Helga sighed, carefully grabbing the baby. "I'll be back in a bit. It's bedtime for him anyway. Can one of you warm up a bottle of milk? The formula is in the cabinet."

While Phoebe and Gerald flirted together, Arnold got up and made a bottle of milk expertly. Susie and Kakashka had a toddler of their own which he watched on odd occasions. He never expected them to have children from the way Susie babied her husband but he had been wrong before. Taking the bottle to the nursery upstairs which was where Greg and Olga were staying at. Bob had gone out and bought the most expensive rocking chair.

However, he wasn't expecting Helga to be using it.

She was holding the baby in the crook of her arm, watching him with care as she slowly rocked them peacefully. The long mane of hair tumbled over her shoulders, where little Robert fisted bits and pieces of in his chubby little hands. There were few times that Arnold had ever seen her so peaceful. Or beautiful.

_Since when did I think Helga was beautiful,_ Arnold asked himself, puzzled.

His steps had alerted her to his approach and she held out a hand to receive the warm bottle of milk. Carefully, she tested the liquid on her wrist before nudging the nipple to little Robert's mouth. Seconds later, there was suctioning sound filling the room that had Helga smiling so brightly, Arnold could swear she was beaming.

"Thanks for the bottle, football-head."

"No worries," he smiled. "It's nice seeing you like this."

"You mean evil? Doesn't require that much effort."

"You look like you have a soul."

"Thanks," Helga stuck out her tongue. "I try."

"So, I have to talk to you about something."

"Is this about teepeeing your house? Because Gerald dared me."

"Remind me to kick Gerald in the leg," Arnold wrinkled his nose in distaste. "No, I just never got the chance to apologize … about Lila."

"I don't want to talk about it," Helga sent him a pointed look. "It happened weeks ago. It's done."

"But still, I'm sorry you had to go through with it."

"Whatever."

"Helga-"

"Arnold, you better drop it or I will fucking kick you in the balls."

"While holding the baby?"

"Don't start."

"Fine," Arnold raised his hands in defeat. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Eventually," Helga shrugged. "I'm going to put the little guy to sleep. I'll meet you outside."

Arnold couldn't help but feel guilty. Here was his friend who, while had a boyfriend, still had lingering feelings for him. And he went ahead and cornered her in a room with a baby in her arms. Was he really that cruel to her? A doorbell ringing had him distracted as he made his way to the living room. Phoebe was already at the door, letting a rather good looking guy inside the house. Pale green eyes focused on him a moment before smiling at him.

"Hey, you must be Arnold," he said brightly. "I'm James."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Summer Incident #2

**A/N: **This chapter is short. I couldn't really figure out a way to finish it, so here goes. Just to give you a head's up, two weeks ago, I went to the hospital on a psychiatric hold. I was not doing well at all and I was planning my suicide. I'm better now, with the correct medication so I'm able to return and keep writing. And if anyone has any issues, I suggest going to support groups. It has really helped me. Thank you for continuing to read the crazed antics of my mind.

And as for one "reviewer" who hid behind the anonymous facade I say this: Thank you for being so rude. It actually helped. You won't be reading this but it gives me a chance to explain. This story is only through the holidays between school. It's hard to write when "Under My Skin" is easier. I was actually going to have Helga get an abortion but since people are so touchy about a safe, medical procedure, I decided to induce miscarriage instead. That being said, I hope my writing is decent enough to portray that to other fans who seem to like it well enough. This is MY idea of what Helga would do. Helga didn't tell anyone about James until it was serious. Is she really the type of person to blurt out all her secrets? Especially when she's still hooked on Arnold? Exactly.

I hope my fans will continue to read.

Thank you.

**Oxooxo**

James was a delight.

Phoebe was positively smitten while Gerald watched with just a hint of jealousy. However, he only had eyes for Helga who laughed at all his jokes and didn't flinch from his touch. In fact, she was always holding his hand or receiving a kiss from him. It made Arnold annoyed for some incomprehensible reason, though he tried not to show it. Eventually, Gerald caught a hint of his scowl and pulled him aside to talk.

"What's up, man? Don't like James?"

"Oh, he's likeable enough," he grunted. "I just think maybe it's too much PDA."

"Jeez," Gerald sighed. "You're blind, aren't you?"

"I'm not-"

"Can't see anything past you own nose," Gerald shook his. "Stop being an ass. We're about to order dinner."

Eventually, James had to leave to go back home for a couple of weeks. He promised to visit again before school started. Helga looked disappointed and was even sad for a day or two. She spent her time brooding, taking care of Robert and writing in a little notebook he knew to be poetry. Helga was trying to drown her sorrows by spending as much time alone as possible.

Gerald and Arnold were walking back from the arcade to the boarding house for a basketball game on television when they heard a lovely voice singing a lullaby. It was recognizable; Helga. Her voice was soft as the coo of a baby's laughter filled air. They approached her as she was lying down on a blanket with Robert resting on his back with a little toy in his fist.

"We didn't know you could sing like that," Gerald commented.

"I don't exactly advertise it, Gerald-o."

"You should, you could get a few gigs," Arnold complimented.

"I don't care about that," Helga sat up. "I just like to sing to Robert. He's stolen my heart, the jerk."

"I bet," Arnold murmured. "Want to come watch the basketball game with us?"

"Actually, I'm meeting Phoebe in a few."

"Yeah, she just texted me,"Gerald held up his phone. "Gotta love that girl."

"You better or I'll stomp the imprint of your face into the pavement," Helga grasped the mass of hair on her back and put it up into a clip. "And I mean it, asshole."

"Duly noted," he replied dryly. "We'll leave you to go shopping."

"Haha," Helga flipped him the finger.

It wasn't until a week later that he saw Helga while she was buying diapers. And then again, buying baby food. And finally, it wasn't until she was considering buying a car seat did she really wake up and realize that it wasn't her responsibility to get up in the middle of the night and bottle feed Robert. Olga turned a blind eye at blatantly taking advantage of Helga's hospitality and kindness. It was only when she didn't get up to take care of the baby did they notice how lucky they had it. Greg had the shame of being lazy but to his credit, he had been taking care of Olga who acted as though she was a war veteran.

Once Bob realized he couldn't brow beat Helga into helping out everyone did he finally do the unthinkable and kick her out. Greg offered to put her up in hotel for a few days but she refused, grabbing all her things and shoving them in her car. She did take three weeks worth of babysitting money from Greg. It was the least he could do. Turning on the engine, she headed over to Gerald's and parked. Phoebe was in Japan for the week to visit family and she wasn't going to Arnold's. It would be way too uncomfortable. With a sigh, she got out of the car and went to knock on the door. Timberly answered.

The teen years were kind to her. There were curves on her that Helga would have killed to have even at her age. Her hair was stick straight with a barrette to make it cute. Dressed in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops, she tackle-hugged Helga and called out for Gerald to come down, which he did. He looked a little sweaty which meant he had been working out. Helga rubbed her arm uncomfortably as he grinned.

"Nice to see you in my neck of the woods!"

"Hey, Gerald."

"Are you okay," he asked, unsure of what to do.

"Actually, not really. Bob just kicked me out of the house."

"WHY?"

"Because I stopped being taken advantage of," Helga sighed. "I'd go and stay at Pheebs but-"

"You can stay here," Timberly and Gerald said simultaneously.

"Well, that's settled," Helga said, raising an eyebrow. "What will your parents say?"

"Can't say much since they love you," Timberly quipped. "You can stay in Jaime-O's room. I'll go change the sheets and pick out some movies for our sleepover."

"Now there's a sleepover," Helga laughed. "Gerald, can you please call your parents and find out if it's okay? Worst case is I have money for a room somewhere cheap."

"Already texted my parents," Gerald motioned to his phone. "They say it's fine and will make a nice meal tonight."

"Good, can you help me get my stuff out of the car?"

"Sure, let me get a shirt. I'm stanky!"

"Ew. Gross."

So it was that Helga moved into the Johannsen's home until the end of the summer. Absolutely appalled by Big Bob's behavior, they tried to make Helga as comfortable as possible. She wasn't a bad guest and tried to get them to take some of the money that Greg had given her but they refused. She even did some part-time hours at the grocery store where Mrs. Johannsen worked as a manager during the week. She did miss the baby terribly. Helga only hoped that she would allowed to say good bye in a couple of weeks when she left for school.

When Arnold found out about it, he actually went and had a hissy fit. In no kind terms, did he hiss to Gerald when they had some time alone by themselves that it would have been nice to have been told what was going on. It wasn't that Helga didn't want to tell him, Gerald explained. It was that she was embarrassed and didn't want to turn to Arnold. He cooled down somewhat after a few hard jogs at the park.

**H: Busy, football-head?**

**A: Not really, what's up?**

**H: Wanna get some tacos?**

**A: When and where?**

**H: Be there in ten minutes.**

**A: Right-o, Captain.**

**H: That's right, bitch. Whose yo' daddy?**

**A: … Gerald.**

**H: Ew.**

Within fifteen minutes, Arnold was sitting next to Helga and heading off to find a taco truck to satisfy their craving of Mexican food. They had not hung out together since Helga had moved in with Gerald. He was hurt and didn't know why. He put it up to them being friends and not having come to him at all.

"I know you're mad," Helga started out.

"Why didn't you come to me? We have rooms."

"I know you do. But you don't seem to understand how uncomfortable it is for me," Helga sighed. "I still having feelings that aren't exactly friendly."

"Well, it just feels like you don't want to be around me more than you have to," Arnold stated.

"In a way," Helga looked at him for a moment. "Think about it: you broke my heart and to go live with you, is that in any way not weird to you?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," Arnold couldn't come up with a good enough argument against hers. "Fine, I understand but it still sucks."

"Welcome to my world."

**xox**

****Helga held Robert tightly in her arms as Greg handed him over gently. He had gone out of his way to bring him over to Arnold's house where she was spending time with her group. He could only stay for twenty minutes at most now that Olga wanted to be the most perfect and loving mom. And that came with her being obsessed with the child who was already being prepped for Harvard according to Greg. Helga laughed at that and held the baby close.

"I thought that would have happened once she plopped out Robert," she snorted.

"Well, that's where she was going," Greg shrugged. "But I guess the surgery didn't help."

"She loves the attention," she replied. "Sometimes I wonder why you married her."

"Love makes you stupid."

"Agreed," Helga sighed. "Love makes you stupid."

Ten minutes later, he whisked off with the baby as his phone rang in the background. Helga sighed and waved from the window. Turning, she saw that Arnold was the only one in the room who smiled at her gently.

"You really care about that kid, don't you?"

"Yep, I'm a sucker for blonds," she replied, eying his hair pointedly. "Where are Gerald and Phoebe?"

"Well, they wanted to give you some time to compose yourself," Arnold shrugged. "You looked like you were about to cry."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Now that I can go back to my dorm until holidays, I feel like I can." Helga rubbed her face nervously as she slowly focused on him. "How do you deal being my friend knowing that I have feelings for you?"

"Oh," Arnold blushed heavily. "Um, I don't know. I just pretend you don't."

"That's kind of cruel," Helga sighed. "But I guess I deserve it."

"I just don't want things to be uncomfortable."

"I'm never comfortable," Helga pointed out. "Still, I think it was a question worth asking."

"I don't know what to say."

"There's a phrase I heard already, months ago," she spat. "Fuck, I need a walk."

"Are you-"

"Yes, by myself," she snapped before he could offer his company.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Halloween

**A/N:** This chapter is rather dramatic, more so than I wanted but in the last chapters it's only solely been about Helga and her emotions. Now it's time to bring Arnold into the mix. I think the next chapter is my favorite, though it's far from finished. I just came home from a weekend stay at an old friend's house. It was very nice.

I'd really like to thank all my fans with all the wonderful support and encouragement. I feel loads better and I am grateful for the love I'm getting. I think I'm going to finish this story before I hope back onto "Under My Skin". Also, I am working on another story that is going to be posted sometime in the next week so look out for it.

**xox**

**xox**

**xox**

It was Rhonda's Big Halloween Bash.

It also meant that Helga was a part of her crew.

So the costume was unavoidable.

At least Phoebe managed to escape it all, not that Gerald would have minded the outfits in the least. Both of them were in California and had midterms to study for, which meant they stayed until Thanksgiving. Helga missed them terrible for many reasons, especially now that she was raw in the romance department. Essentially, James had been _too_ wonderful and was stolen away by someone who was as amazing as he. The breakup had been swift and painful after he realized he had feelings for a girl named Ruth.

**Ruth.**

_**Ruth!**_

So now Helga was left to licking her wounds while she was around her unrequited love of more than a damned decade. To make matters as awful as possible, Rhonda had chosen _Moulin Rouge_ as her party theme, complete with the soul sisters. That meant that she was clad in tasteful lingerie, representing Pink from the music video. So at least Helga had kickass boots but it would be very uncomfortable walking around in something she would use to get laid in.

Helga adjusted the sequined bra and added more eyeliner while the caterers set up the food and tables. A large venue usually reserved for weddings had been snatched up for Halloween just for Rhonda. There were four fog machines against different sections of the wall. Cauldrons of candy were set up at the entrance while fire dancers entertained on the stage. There were two Djs who were setting up on different sides of the large room. There would be a banquet of food on a long table set up where people could pick what they want. Crystal chandeliers were coated in spiderwebs and pumpkins were artfully set up against walls. Truly, it was an expensive and tasteful party.

Nadine, Sheena, and Helga would walk around with little trays of shots, offering it to guests. They were only allowed to put down trays to dance with guys. It was a stupid rule that Helga was planning on breaking as soon as she got outside. Guests were already coming in to gasp in shock. There were actors hired as famous evil-doers to scare everyone. It was going to be a great party, Helga thought, if you came as a guest.

"Alright, girls," Rhonda said, preening in the mirror and puffing out her blond wig full of curls. "It's time to shine!"

"I really don't feel comfortable in satin panties," Sheena said slowly.

"And white isn't my color," Nadine added.

"Well, too bad," Rhonda glared.

"Buck up girls," Helga grunted. "Princess Rhonda always gets what she wants. We're getting paid for this shit, right?"

"Five hundred dollars each," she replied. "It's what the other actors are getting."

"Oh," Sheena and Nadine said, thinking about it for a moment.

"Let's get going," Rhonda laughed, wiggling in her tight corset.

"Right."

"Okay."

"Criminy," Helga rolled her eyes before following the other victims.

Instead of acting pleasant at the gawking and stares, Helga visibly flustered and threatened anyone who even thought of hitting on her. It wasn't long before she spotted Lila flirting with Arnold near the back where the Freddy Kruger was slashing at anyone who got close. With a tight grin, she approached her beloved who was dressed as a mummy with a slight swish of her hips. She would flaunt if it meant keeping the red-hair she-devil away.

"Hey football-head."

"Hel-whoa!"

"Yeah," she laughed, playing with the tumbling blond curls around her face. "Rhonda sure does deck out her bitches, right?"

"You look amazing," he replied, dazed.

"Thanks," she held out a tray. "Shot, anyone?"

"Yes, please," Lila grabbed two, and handed one to Arnold. "Take one with me?"

"No thanks," Arnold shrugged. "Excuse me while Helga helps me find a bathroom."

"What is _with_ you, Arnold," Lila stomped her foot. "It's like you have some kind of crush on her! She's not even that pretty."

"Helga's gorgeous," he said, grabbing Helga's arm and tray. "You need to stop acting like a child, Lila. We're not kids anymore."

"No... you're right," Lila sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry to you both, I won't bother you again."

Helga watched as she walked away with her shoulders sagged. Maybe she did have that girl wrong. After all, she was a perceived threat to their relationship for sometime. Not realistically, of course, but still. And instead of trying to stop it, she surrendered. Helga didn't know what that meant currently. Yanking her arm away from Arnold who looked as puzzled as she.

"Thanks for the white and shining armor crap," Helga rubbed her arm. "But you should probably go chase her down before she really does give up on you."

"If she hasn't already, this did it," Arnold grinned. "She never did well with jealousy."

"Still, you probably have a shot with her," Helga urged. "She might start thinking you have some kind of feelings for me."

"Maybe I do," Arnold teased with wiggling eyebrows, which made Helga explode.

"You JERK," she shrieked, slapping him across the face. "That's not _funny_!"

"He-"

"Fuck you," she replied, leaving him with the tray of shots.

Screw Rhonda's five hundred bucks, she thought as she pushed and shoved through a mass of people to get away from Arnold who had shoved the tray onto someone else after realizing what he had done and said. But she was too fast and managed to hide away from him in the dressing room. There she sat, crying pathetically until Rhonda came up in a tirade of epic proportions until she saw Helga with streaks of mascara and eyeliner betraying her tough facade.

"Arnold," Rhonda asked as she locked the door behind her.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Love is always obvious," Rhonda cleaned her friend's face gently with makeup remover. "However, I never thought he could be so mean to make someone like you cry."

"I'm just being a weenie."

"You, Helga G. Pataki, a weenie? Perish the thought," Rhonda smiled. "What happened?"

So Helga explained.

"My goodness," Rhonda held a hand up to her face. "Could he be so stupid?"

"Maybe I should be more assertive?"

"No, you've done enough," Rhonda pulled out her cell phone and texted something. "Stay the night at my place so he doesn't know where you are for a few days."

"Sounds like a plan," Helga sighed. "I'll go back to school tomorrow night."'

"Not before a nice spa day."

"Rhonda?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Is this staying between us?"

"... Yes. I am first, your friend and a gossip afterward," Rhonda sighed. "Unfair, it is. Such juicy gossip."

"I'm going to get undressed," Helga grinned wobbly. "I'll wait up here."

"No," Rhonda checked the time. "My limo is here to take you back to my guest house. I'll be there late so just go ahead and help yourself to whatever you like. The cook and maid are available 24 hours a day."

"You really are unbelievably rich, aren't you, Princess?"

"It's mind-boggling," Rhonda chuckled, holding out a long coat. "Come, come. We have to sneak you out."

An hour and a very hot shower later, Helga was curled up with her phone next to her. There were dozens of text messages from Arnold apologizing profusely. There were ten missed calls from Phoebe and one from Gerald. No one but Rhonda knew where she was and for that, she was very grateful. The pillow was soft and clean. She considered buying a new pillow before she headed back to school. It would help her sleep.

Another beep.

Helga sighed and checked it.

**A: I'm really, really, really sorry I said that. It was a huge mistake to make fun of your feelings for me. And I don't know why I said it. I guess, I'm just a bad person. **

**A: And I don't want to bother you but I need to know you're safe. Call me a jerk, an asshole, but just let me know you're safe.**

**A: Please.**

**A: If something happens or has happened to you, I will never forgive myself.**

**A: I'm so sorry.**

**A: I'm unbelievably sorry.**

**A: Sorry.**

_Fifteen Minutes Later._

**A: Helga, we need to talk. It's important.**

**A: I've been thinking about what I said, and I don't know why I said it. But rereading the text messages I sent...**

**A: Rhonda just yelled at me. I gather you told her and not Phoebe?**

**A: Sorry, I didn't mean to be mean. I just didn't expect her to yell at me when I don't even know where you are.**

**A: I guess you're at Rhonda's?**

**A: I'm sorry, please just tell me where you are.**

**A: I'm going crazy! I just need to know you're okay. Please.**

**A: Helga, I am so sorry for what I did. I can't think about why I could have done it. **

**A: I can't stop reliving that moment.**

**A: Are we still friends?**

**A: I don't deserve you but I still hope we're friends.**

Helga bit her lip and replied.

**H: I'm fine. I can't answer anymore questions. **

**A: Helga! You're safe. I'm so glad. I'm sorry. I think I'm repeating myself but it bears repeating. If I could write it in the sky, I would.**

**H: It wouldn't make what you did any better.**

**A: If I come over, will you talk to me?**

**H: You're only poking a wide awake dragon in the eye with a stick.**

**A: I deserve being burned to a crisp.**

**H: I don't know.**

**A: Well tough, cuz I'm at your front door.**

**H: Great. **

True to his word, he was still covered in wrapped linen with a cell phone in one hand and car keys in the other when she went to open the door. Helga didn't bother putting on a bra and stood at the doorway in pajama pants and a thin tank top. Both of them obscenely expensive and flimsy as all hell. Still, Helga simply stared at him as he shuffled in his own shame.

"So you're here," Helga confirmed. "What now? Some nice love confession?"

"Well, no," Arnold shrugged. "We wouldn't want to become that cliché, would we?"

"I don't know, get as cliched as you want."

"Helga," Arnold breathed. "I'm sorry. I goofed."

"You didn't goof," Helga glared at him. "You completely fucking fucked the fuck up."

"Nice use of the fuck word," Arnold complimented. "But true, I did."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"I'm trying," Helga frowned, looking away at anything else but him. "I cried."

"I'm sorry," Arnold reached out to touch her but she flinched visibly. Stunned, he pulled away.

"Let's just make things clear," Helga sniffed, wiping underneath her eyes. "I have feelings for you."

"I know," Arnold whispered.

"And you," Helga spat. "You don't have _any_ feelings for me that aren't friendly, correct?"

"... I ..."

"Well?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry," Helga laughed shrilly. "You're joking."

"I'm not," Arnold shrugged. "I don't know what I feel for you, Helga."

"I'm going to sleep," Helga turned and slammed the door behind her.

"Helga, don't do this," he cried, muffled from the doorway. "I don't how I feel! I'm fucking confused!"

"How is that my problem," she said, tearing the door open again. "After _years_ of pining after you and getting rejected. Yes, _rejected_, you're here at my doorstep telling me that you're confused."

"Basically," he said, looking embarrassed. "There's-"

"No," Helga shook her head. "I don't want to deal with this right now, okay?"

"But-"

"Figure out what you feel and stop _fucking_ with me," she hissed. "Otherwise, there isn't anything we need to talk about."

"So we're not friends?"

"I don't know," Helga rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I need some sleep. Rhonda should be driving up anyway and I have to pretend to be asleep. Thanks for fucking up a party for me, Shortman."

This time Helga kept the door closed as he attempted to speak to her a little more. Unfortunately for him, she had had enough of him for the night and wasn't willing to deal with the raging turmoil that was frothing at her chest. After a quick text to Phoebe to let her know that she would call the next day, Helga tuned her Pandora app to the woeful wails of Ella Fitzgerald and fell asleep with tears drying on her face.

The next morning, Helga managed to escape Rhonda's preening and took the bus back to her parent's place. They were at work so she had the house to herself. Olga did not allow Bob's behavior to go on for more than a month. Grudgingly, he had invited her back to the house for the holidays and Helga accepted merely for the use of free room and board. She washed her face in the sink to remove any reside makeup and packed up her things carefully. An envelope was sticking out of her purse as she searched for her car keys. There were five hundred dollars inside with a gift card inside to some posh store.

_For luck, _

_Rhonda_.

With a smile, she told herself to write the girl a card when she was back at school. Helga grabbed her jacket and shrugged it on with her black suitcase in hand. Car keys were already in hand when she locked the door behind her. She opened the trunk manually and shoved her stuff inside. Helga flipped open her phone and checked the messages, which were plentiful. Most of them were from Arnold, which she ignored. She would deal with them when she was back at school. She was tired of all the drama and it had only been a few days. Helga was ready to leave when a knock at her window startled her out of her thoughts.

Of course.

Arnold.

"What," she asked, rolling down her windows.

"I've been trying to find you for the better part of the morning," he stated, upset.

"Ever think I was trying to just go and LEAVE?"

"It did but I figured you'd at least say goodbye."

"Not after your fuck up last night."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I," Helga replied before driving off.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Christmas/New Year's

Helga yawned and plodded downstairs for a large cup of coffee. She had the whole house to herself on Christmas morning. In fact, she had arrived after the fifteenth to find out that Bob and Miriam had been invited to spend the holidays up in Canada with Olga and the baby for three weeks. They had left gifts for Helga underneath the large tree in the living room and a fully stocked kitchen, but none of the warmth that came with the holiday. As usual, Helga was left alone and abandoned. But considering the perks of not having her family around to criticize everything about her, she was happy to let them be in Canada without her.

She turned on the coffee put while she pulled out some Christmas cookies she had baked the night before. They tasted delicious and there was leftover batter to make for later on in the day when the rest of her group came over to spend time together. She put the oven to preheat before walking over to the tree to start opening gifts. Overall, the haul had not been too bad. Helga had gotten a brand new coat to help with the chill in Seattle. There were a few gift cards and other clothing. Bob had gone out and bought her a brand new smartphone which was surprising but welcome. Olga bought her new purse and some Converse. It was decent and more than anything she expected from her family.

After breakfast, Helga went and showered to get ready for the rest of the day. She picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and a comfortable white knit top that had a wide neck for her shoulders to squeeze through. Black flats and makeup and she was ready. She made sure to dress her best after the whole Halloween issue with Arnold. She still held a torch for him, but it didn't shine as brightly after he wounded her ego and her heart. Helga pulled her hair back into a long ponytail. She reminded herself for the dozenth time that week that she needed to get her bangs trimmed as she fixed them over her eyes.

Helga returned downstairs and got started on another batch of cookies. As they baked in the oven, she mixed ingredients for gingerbread men. It was her favorite treat of the holidays, particularly when biting off the heads. She prepared the icing and kept herself busy until the door knocked. Mitts in hand, she opened the door to see Arnold standing there with a large bag full of gifts and a bashful smile. She could smell his aftershave swirled in with coffee and she couldn't help but swoon slightly at his tall figure.

"Hey," he said, voice raspy.

"Hey."

"Umm, can I come in," he asked, shivering.

"Oh, sure," Helga opened the door for him. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Helga," he grinned. "I'm happy you're here."

"Me too," she returned to the oven. "Hold on, baking."

He watched her quietly as she bustled around the kitchen methodically, like a witch at her cauldron. He even helped with removing everything from the trays to large plates decorated with snowflakes. She smiled at a crazy story or two that he told from school. Carefully, they toed around each other, trying not to push the boundaries that had begun from the moment she confessed. Arnold took a bite of a gingerbread and winced since it was hot.

"Ow!"

"I just took them out of the oven," Helga stated. "Criminy, they're boiling."

"Got that," Arnold chewed anyway. "It's good, though."

"I know, I baked them."

"Cocky, much?"

"Always," Helga laughed, pulling out a tray of sugar cookies.

Gerald had called ahead in the morning to let her know that he was bringing the food for their little party so she only needed to get snacks. Thankfully, there was plenty of baking shit around the house. Helga bit into one of her awesome cookies and shooed Arnold to the living room. However, he stopped at the doorway and had her tumbling into him. She nearly dropped a plate of cookies and she was ready to snap at him when he pointed upwards at a little bush of shrubbery hanging above them.

"Ah, fuck," Helga took a step back. "Let's just ignore it."

"It's tradition."

"I'll make it a tradition to beat your face in," Helga replied, walking into the living room to put the cookies down. "It's fine. I don't want to make anything complicated."

"It's just a kiss," Arnold murmured.

"It's not."

Helga tried to pass him swiftly. She honestly did, wanting to avoid touching him all together. He looked so handsome in his black leather jacket that clung to his broad shoulders. His green eyes held a spark of amusement and he was smiling softly at her. Helga gulped as a hand captured her shoulder and turned her around.

"Tradition," he whispered softly.

And that was it, Helga couldn't say no as he pulled her close, tugging at her hands to place them at his shoulders. Arnold held a hand at the small of her waist as he dipped down and gently pressed a soft kiss to her own. His lips were warm from the cookies and Helga bit down a whimper, knowing this was what she wanted for so long. But she was stoic and meant to pull away.

And Arnold had other plans.

He pulled her closer, tipping her head back and wrapping himself around her. He bit her lip softly, making her gasp in surprise as his tongue swept in, tasting of cookies and dreams long since past. It was a slow heat that burned until it was ready to burst. Helga shuddered visibly as their foreheads pressed together. She opened her eyes to see Arnold was staring at her intently.

"Um," she reluctantly pulled away. "That was... nice."

"Nice?"

"Merry Christmas," Helga muttered, rushing upstairs before he could say anything.

"Wait-" Arnold sighed, glancing at the door. There had been a knocking during their kiss. He tasted vanilla and cinnamon.

Helga came down with gifts, already cool and collected by the time she reached the bottom of the steps. Phoebe launched herself into her arms and laughed when Gerald jumped in too. Their friendship would weather worse but this was the first time things were as awkward as they were. Arnold cautiously joined the group hug. Gerald had brought Chinese food for their little dinner.

It was late when Gerald and Phoebe left, taking their new gifts and a little drunk from that evening. Helga watched them leave from the doorway, somewhat nostalgic from their high school days. Arnold approached her carefully so as not to surprise her but she noticed the sudden movement and opened the door wider so that he could leave too. However, he stopped just in front of her, unsure of what to do.

"Thanks for the jacket," he murmured, raking back his hair.

"Sure," Helga shrugged. "I thought you might like it."

"It fits, too."

"That's the point," Helga sighed. "Okay, listen... I know you're confused. The kiss didn't mean anything, okay? Let's just leave it there."

"I don't know if that's what I want."

"Arnold, stop fucking with me," Helga spat. "Go home and forget that it ever happened."

"But why?"

"Because you've been asking me to be a friend, and only a friend," Helga rubbed her shoulders. "And now I'm asking you to do the same."

"But-"

"Arnold, you're pushing me," Helga motioned to the door. "I think it's time for you to go."

"I'm being unfair, aren't I," Arnold rubbed the back of his neck.

"Basically," Helga took a deep breath and let it out. "I'll see you for the New Year's Party next week."

"Okay," Arnold pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Helga watched him from leave from the window. A very big part of her wished she could just run outside and into his arms, kiss passionately and then do whatever it was that couples did. But he wasn't sure about his feelings like she was and it would just be a huge inconvenience to spell it out for him to feel. And she was a Pataki after all; her still had her pride. She finished cleaning up after her guests before going upstairs for a long bath to which she would break down and cry.

When New Years Eve arrived as quick as it did, her family called saying they would be returning in a couple days. Not caring much, Helga made some potato salad and deviled eggs for Arnold's party. She was planning on sneaking out before midnight to avoid the kissing part of it all and come back perhaps twenty minutes later when things had cooled down. Lila would no doubt try to smooch it up with Arnold and she wasn't ready to watch that.

It was a quarter eight when Helga was finished preening in the mirror. She straightened her hair and let it fall down her shoulders. She was wearing a dark purple dress with thick straps and fell to her knees. Helga was zipping up her calf boots when the doorbell rang. Grabbing her purse, she added a sheer gloss to her lips before slipping into her black trench coat. Gerald was at her door, looking quite dapper in black slacks, a gray shirt and dress vest with a sexy jacket to complete the outfit. Helga made him twirl in his new loafers with a laugh.

"Baby girl, you look beautiful," he commented, throwing an around her shoulders. They were walking to the party since it had started snowing. Since it was only six blocks, she didn't mind. "Arnold's jaw is going to drop."

"Eugh, not the reason why I'm looking like this," Helga glanced at him. "He's confused."

"About?"

"He doesn't know how he feels about me," Helga expressed. "And what the fuck do I say to that?"

"Give him one of your eggs," Gerald laughed, biting one. "I don't know what you add to these but they're always a _so _good."

"Secret," Helga wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Those are for the party."

"Yeah, but we're going to the party and I'm hungry."

"Of course," Helga laughed.

"Arnold is a moron sometimes," Gerald stated bluntly. "Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. He's crazy about you, he just doesn't see it."

"How are you sure," Helga whispered. "I've been crazy about him for years."

"You just have to make him nuts," Gerald popped in another egg. "Tempt him into waking up."

"No," Helga exclaimed. "I'm tired of playing games. He can wake himself up. I can't do it for him."

"Then Lila is gonna cast her spell on him _again_ and he's going to be with her_ again_," Gerald explained to her. "She's a good person but really possessive and didn't like him hanging out with us so often."

"No doubt," Helga commented dryly. "He keeps telling me he's confused."

"Kiss him," Gerald advised.

"We … already did."

"What," Gerald gasped. "What happened and why don't I know about it?"

"I didn't tell anyone," Helga shrugged. "It was underneath the mistletoe and it was a pretty wicked kiss, in all honesty."

"And he...?"

"You guys interrupted us," she chuckled. "I didn't want to force him. But he was insistent on kissing me, quoth the Arnold, 'Tradition!'."

"Helga, jump in on it," Gerald carefully unwrapped a candy cane and broke it in half. "Here, eat this. For bad breath."

"Thank you?"

"If Arnold doesn't kiss you tonight, I will be shocked."

"I won't."

"Stop being negative."

"He rejected me," Helga shrugged. "Can't forget that."

They arrived at the party minutes later as the snow began to fall even harder. Warm radiated from the building as the door opened, with Arnold's Grandmother at the door, dressed as a geisha. After bowing, they headed to the kitchen to drop off the food. Phoebe was there with a glass of apple cider and a kiss for Gerald who swooped in and took it.

"You guys are so cute, it's disgusting," Helga commented.

"Arnold went out for some more eggnog," Phoebe pointed out. "Lila offered to go and help but he took Harold instead. It was quite a scene."

"Really now," Helga grinned. "What happened?"

"She blamed his indifference on you," Phoebe sipped her drink. "Something about you being a home wrecker. To be fair, she was quite drunk."

"Wow," Helga glanced at her friends. "Now I know why everyone was staring at me."

"They're not even together," Gerald grunted, shaking his head. "What did Arnold do?"

"He asked Curly to escort her outside," Phoebe smiled. "Seeing as how he is taller and bigger. She went loudly."

"Maybe I should leave," Helga muttered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"No you will not," Phoebe grabbed her arm. "If we were unsure of how he really felt, you should have seen him defend you. He's in love with you, Helga. You need to tell him again."

"I think I told you what happened Halloween," she snapped. "He's confused."

"He's just stupid," Phoebe muttered. "Helga, you will stay and chat with me while Gerald gets us drinks."

It was difficult to disobey Phoebe when she was determined about something or another. Helga spoke to Rhonda who gave her a complete list of things said which sang her praises incredibly. Sheena showed her a fuzzy video which was interrupted by Arnold's grandmother running around the house in warrior armor with half the cats of the city following her. Only when Arnold and Harold returned, did she and the feline army leave with a deadly howl. It was a perfect way to start the New Year for sure. Helga sipped her drink quietly while Gerald and he did their special handshake and talked about the Lila incident while they approached the girls.

Music was set up on the roof where much of the guests had gone up as the radio played all kinds of stuff. A few people stayed downstairs due to the cold. Helga excused herself to use the bathroom. She was planning on escape at a quarter to twelve to avoid Arnold or anyone who wanted to plant a kiss on her lips. Finishing up with washing her hands, she threw the towel in the corner and checked the mirror.

Arnold had hardly glanced her way when they were mingled in their tiny group. Fixing any flyaway hairs from her face, she touched up her blush before leaving the bathroom. There were only fifteen minutes on the clock and people around her were excitedly murmuring at the thought of a new year. Helga wished she would have taken up her roommate's offer of boxed wine and cheap Thai food in front of the television screen in their drafty room. Now she was avoiding Arnold in his own home.

Because of a stupid kiss.

Helga shook her head at her stupidity. If he wanted to kiss her at midnight, it would only be platonic and something between friends because she wasn't willing to go there, wherever 'there' was or would be. Perhaps it was her massive pride that kept her from forgiving his refusal. Helga couldn't accept that he had realized his feelings for her because it would mean she waited for him. And she already had more than a decade of pining to show for it. Helga sat next to Phoebe who was nursing a small glass of champagne in her elegant fingers.

"I thought you might have run away," Phoebe commented.

"No," Helga played with a thread on her jacket. "I just wanted to think for a bit."

"It's almost midnight."

"I know," Helga laughed. "I guess I better find someone."

"Are you okay?"

"I think I'm growing up."

"Oh dear, you must be ill," Phoebe teased. "Come on, we should find Gerald and Arnold."

"Alright," Helga agreed. "I need some champagne myself. Or a shot of tequila, whatever I find first."

It didn't take very long for Helga to find alcohol as she checked her phone for any messages. Her sister wished her a Happy New Year as well as some of her friends from school. It was only minutes until the ball dropped in their part of the world and eager couples squished together in front of the television set. Phil had a cat sitting on his head while he held his wife, Gertie, close to him. Gerald wrapped an arm around Phoebe and pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Two minutes!"

"Any last resolutions," Gerald asked them.

"A higher GPA!"

"Isn't already a 4.0.?"

"More drinks," Helga snickered, holding her champagne and sipping it.

"Spend more time at home," Arnold murmured, glancing at his grandparents.

"One minute!"

"Treat my girl to better dates," Gerald grinned. "And go somewhere fun for Spring Break."

"Thirty seconds left," Helga shrugged. "To a better fuckin' year!"

They clinked their glasses and finished what was left.

"5..."

"4..."

"3..."

"2..."

Helga felt a tug of her fingers as she slowly glanced at Arnold. Phoebe and Gerald hadn't bothered waiting for rest of the seconds left to the year; they were glued to each other. Arnold grinned lopsidedly at her, brushing his thumb over her knuckles as he pulled her closer. A hand pressed against her lower back, their chests centimeters from each other. Throwing caution to the wind, Helga wrapped her arms around his neck and finished the countdown with a tender kiss.

"Knew it," Gerald whispered to Phoebe.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Valentine's Day

**AN: I hope you all like this chapter. It's been sitting on my computer, wasting away. Please review! I'm practically starved for them!**

**Ouououou**

"You're really staying at school," Phoebe asked, flabbergasted over the phone. "When Arnold is staying a few days while his grandparents take that cruise?"

"Yup," Helga chewed on chocolate. "We're not dating, Phoebs."

"You could."

"Yes, and then I would ruin it by being _me_."

"He's used to your usual bullshit."

"Whoa, _language,_ there are children present," Helga teased. "My innocence."

"Arnold is more innocent," Phoebe sighed. "I still think you should go down there."

"Why?"

"He's crazy about you."

"A crush," Helga reasoned. "And he could do better than me."

"You've wanted this since we were kids. I can't help but think of ice cream at a time like this."

"Ouch."

"Go or I'll tell Gerald what the connection is," Phoebe threatened.

"You wouldn't dare," Helga argued.

"I'll just hint that you're driving down tonight on facebook."

"I hate you," Helga whined. "I'm glad my parents are at their annual fuckfest or I'd be listening to moaning all night."

"Oh my god," Phoebe cried out, efficiently ending the conversation.

Helga sighed, packing a few clothes in her duffel-bag along with a few books. She checked her backpack to make sure she had the right textbooks before grabbing her car keys. She wrote down a quick note to her roommate on the erase board before rushing out the door. Sure enough, she received a text message from Arnold half way back to Hillwood.

**A: Hey, is it true you're coming down tonight?**

**H: Yeah, almost home. Freakin' tired.**

**A: Oh. Well, maybe we can hang out?**

**H: Duh.**

**H: We're friends.**

**A: Right, friends.**

It was close to midnight when Helga parked her car across the street of her home. She grabbed her things and made her way inside. All her stuff in her room was the same way she left it back at Christmas. Helga unpacked some clothes and ordered an extra large pizza to be delivered to her home in half an hour.

**H: Ordered a big ass pizza. Wanna help me eat it while I brainstorm a paper due next week?**

**A: Want me to bring anything?**

**H: Cookies or something sweet.**

**A: Got it.**

Helga took a quick shower and threw on a pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt before tossing her hair in a towel wrapped around her head. She turned on the television and brought a large soda and some cups. The pizza eventually came and Helga was paying for it as Arnold approached the doorway with two small boxes. Helga gave a decent tip and allowed Arnold to come in as she tucked away what little money she had left and tossed the wallet on the kitchen island.

"I didn't think you'd show up so quickly."

"It's pizza," Arnold laughed. "I'm surprised you came home."

"Needed a change of scenery for this paper," Helga lied.

"Ah, what's it on?"

"Political Science," Helga shrugged. "Easy enough but I'm just stuck."

"I could help," Arnold smiled. "It's my major."

"Surprising," Helga raised an eyebrow. "Thought you were doing anthropology."

"I like it," he explained. "But I was only doing it for my parents. I needed to do something I loved."

"Well," Helga served him some pizza. "As least you figured it out now."

"Agreed."

They sat on the couch, mocking "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" when it came on and stuffing their faces together. It was a competition between who was the worst and since they couldn't figure it out, Helga put in one of her favorite movies so they wouldn't have to deal with the monotony of their idiocy.

"Dirty Dancing," Arnold asked, looking surprised. "Really?"

"My pizza, my choice."

"I'm not hating on the movie," he said, raising his hands as she glared at him. "I'm just surprised you like it."

"I have ovaries-"

"Okay," Arnold surrendered, knowing that he wouldn't win. "Got it!"

The movie began to play, which kept them quiet as Patrick Swayze charmed the ever-loving heart out of Baby. Helga watched as she pulled the towel off her head and played with her hair until she tamed it into submission. Arnold was more interested in watching her nimble fingers run through the mass of blonde strands. Helga caught him watching and she stopped, blushing heavily as she did so. He sighed and turned to face her.

"Helga."

"Yeah," Helga began plucking split hairs and yanking them off.

"Is it always going to be awkward between us?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I should have never told you anything."

"No, you would be suffering," Arnold frowned. "Wouldn't you?"

"Probably," Helga shrugged. "But things would be the same."

"I'm don't mind that you told me."

"But I regret it," Helga rubbed her arm.

"Why?"

"Because of this awkwardness, this awful toeing around each other."

"Helga... let me take you out on a date."

"What- why," Helga sputtered.

"Because I want to see what happens," Arnold blushed. "Isn't the point of a date to make sure we're both compatible?"

"Yes, but that would require that both parties actually have feelings for each other," Helga nervously.

"Well, let's figure it out," Arnold mused, brushing hair away from her face. "Would it be so bad?"

"I... no."

"So is that a yes?"

"Um."

Helga's eyes returned to the television where Baby and Johnny were dancing and seducing and singing to each other. The blissful ignorance of their class and station was laughable. But they loved each other nonetheless and it seemed to burn Helga. Here was Arnold who just asked her out on a date. They went to different schools and only saw each other on holidays. How would that work? Could it work? Helga licked her lips and looked back at him. He seemed to struggle hiding his disappointment. After her rejection, would it be right to do the same to him? Helga winced at her own stupidity. She loved the idiot even after all this time and …

"Sure, Arnold."

"Really," he stared at her.

"What can it hurt," she shrugged.

**Xox**

Helga frowned at the racks of clothes at the mall. If Phoebe had focused on finding a flight back to Hillwood, she would have a shopping buddy on hand. But her friend had to be all_ selfish_ and study for a major test, she was stuck on her own. So Helga flipped through racks of clothes, finally picking out a few pairs of jeans to try on. Skirts were too personal and dresses too fancy for someone like her to wear on a first date. And since she had no idea what they were doing, Helga chose jeans.

An hour later, Helga had bought a pair of skinny jeans and a gray half-sleeved shirt that fit _snuggly_ on her. She had some studded flats at home in her bag somewhere. She was so focused on skimming over makeup, she bumped into someone at the blush counter.

Someone like Lila.

She looked quite frightened at Helga's scowl but stood her ground anyway as she bent down and picked up her bags. Lila looked thinner than usual, with her collar bone sticking out and knobbly knees. She looked as though she was swimming in her own jeans.

"Helga," she whispered. "Um... it's nice to see you."

"I wish I could say the same," she replied. "I have shit to do-"

"Wait," Lila paused, touching her arm. "Can we talk outside? It won't take long, I promise."

"Fine, but if you're thinking of starting shit, I have no problem knocking your teeth in."

"Okay," Lila nodded.

When they managed to find a small table, Helga motioned for her to talk.

"Well?"

"I'm sorry," Lila sighed. "For what happened at Christmas. I was drunk and-"

"I don't want excuses," Helga shrugged. "I don't really care."

"But I do."

"Fine, care. But I have things to do."

"My dad is sick," Lila whispered. "He's been dealing with cancer. And... Arnold, he's the only one I could think to trust. That's why I was so desperate to get him back."

"That's fucked up," Helga stated bluntly.

"I told him a couple days ago and he told me the same thing," Lila shuddered. "He told me he'd be a friend to me as long as I respected his personal space."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because you deserve a reason," Lila wiped her eyes. "I know you love Arnold... and I think he loves you too."

"That's none of your concern."

"No, but it's the truth," Lila sighed. "I know we can never be friends but I'm apologizing for my actions and I hope one day you can forgive me."

With that, Lila picked up her bags and left Helga to deal with her thoughts. It was quite a turn for Lila to come at talk to her hours before her date with Arnold. Startled, she realized she had to get ready and made her way home for a hot shower.

Once dressed in her outfit, she blow-dried her hair until it tumbled down in waves over her back. Her bangs fell over her eyes and she did some light makeup to make it as casual as possible. Helga wondered briefly, if Arnold would come with a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. As it turned out, he came with small Tupperware container that he insisted would be for the end of their date. Helga rolled her eyes and followed him out the door.

"So where are you taking me," she asked, fiddling with her purse.

"It's a surprise," Arnold grinned, closing her car door and rounding to the other side. She leaned over and opened it for him. "Thanks."

"Hint?"

"We haven't been there in years."

"That could be the basketball courts at PS 118!"

"Well, that would be a terrible date," he commented. "But you'll have fun, I promise."

"Okay."

It was safe to say that Helga felt uncomfortable with them two only being in the car together. The date was going okay with casual conversation being thrown out once in a while. Arnold was nervous and was unsure of what to do in such a situation. He glanced at Helga who was lost in thought. He pulled into a parking lot that seemed very familiar to her and suddenly, she realized-

"Dinoland!"

"Yep," Arnold laughed at her gleeful expression.

"Oh my god," Helga smiled brightly.

"I thought you might like it," Arnold paid for parking and found a space close to the park.

"I've always loved your ideas."

They got their things and made a mad dash to the park which was open until midnight. Arnold paid for their tickets and made their way to the roller coasters. Helga beat him there and laughed when he took a moment to breathe while the line moved forward. She let him throw an arm over her shoulders and quietly, they slowly got to the front of the line. Arnold watched her move to the front of the coaster and glare down a couple of fourth graders from her cart. The worker only waved them into the seats and adjusted their seat belt.

"I'm constantly amazed by your ability to out-glare someone," he commented.

"It's a gift," Helga stuck out her tongue.

The coaster slowly began to move and off they went. Two loops and a twist later, Helga was clinging to Arnold's arm. It was a new ride that they hadn't been on before which had startled her to say the least. Blushing, she slowly removed her claws from his flesh and giggled nervously. Arnold pulled her close and rubbed her arm gently.

"It's okay, the bleeding will stop soon," he teased.

"Not if I tear your throat out," she countered, rubbing her cheek in embarrassment.

"How romantic."

"I'm so smooth," Helga leaped out of the cart and made sure he was watching as she tossed her hair back and slowly swayed her hips as she left him.

"Oh," was all Arnold could say before he jumped out and followed her.

The rest of the evening went by rather quickly for them both. It consisted of nostalgia and sexual tension which neither of them could really deny. Arnold won her two small stuffed animals when it came to throwing soft balls at targets. He bought her two corn dogs and nearly gathered the courage of kissing away the mustard left at the corner of her lips. Instead, he brushed it away with his thumb and chuckled at her hazy expression.

"You okay?"

"I'm... fine," Helga smiled. "This is really fun."

"Agreed," Arnold coughed slightly. "You make me nervous."

"I do," Helga asked, baffled.

"You've been my friend for so long," Arnold whispered near her ear. "It's different. But more than anything, I just want to hold your hand and not have it be awkward."

"Oh," Helga bit her lip. "Okay."

Arnold beamed at her blushing face as his fingers laced through hers. It sent a thrill to both of their spines and the silence that fell was anything but awkward. The two dinosaurs watched them as they slowly got used to the new facet of their blooming friendship turned relationship. Eventually, after Arnold won her a third dinosaur, he kissed her knuckles and brought her home. The walk to her door was quiet and nerve wracking for both of them. Helga opened it and invited him in. However, he simply shook his head.

"Why," she asked, panicked.

"I don't want to overstep my boundaries," Arnold stated. "And I know that if I push too hard, you will too."

"I see," Helga leaned against the doorway. "So... things went okay?"

"I had a fantastic time," Arnold murmured, staring into her sleepy eyes. "I hope you won't leave tomorrow at some awful morning hour."

"Pancakes?"

"Where," Arnold asked, looking around.

"I mean... would you like to have p-pancakes with me tomorrow," Helga lowered her gaze as she muttered her question.

"I would love to," Arnold raised an eyebrow. "Helga?"

"What?"

"How am I supposed to kiss you goodnight if you're looking down?"

At that question, her head popped back up with a nervously hopeful expression on her face. Arnold laughed softly as his large hands encased her face on each side. Carefully, he waited for some sign for him to continue. Helga closed her eyes and leaned in so as to make him feel as though he could. Arnold took it as permission and pressed his lips against hers.

Helga could taste the funnel cake they shared just before they left the park. He had insisted on sharing one at the time and had fought her for the last piece. Now she was drowning in his kiss, barely hiding her shudders as stood close to her and tilted her head to the side, reveling as she parted her lips slightly. Arnold pulled away reluctantly and placed his forehead against hers.

"I'll be here around nine?"

"Okay," Helga whispered, heavy-lidded.

"Good night."

Helga stumbled into the kitchen and yanked open the fridge that blew a cold puff of air in her face. Gently, she pulled out the small container she had hidden at the bottom and removed the top gingerly. Her lips turned into a soft smile.

Chocolate covered strawberries.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face

**A/N: Very short last chapter but I didn't know how else to end it. There wasn't a point in a very long chapter when things were already said. There's an epilogue in the works but I can't promise a quick update as I'm back at school. Anyway, yeah, I forgot that Helga was allergic to strawberries. But don't worry, she doesn't die. I hope everyone enjoys. Short and sweet.**

Helga held the container of strawberries and handed them over to Arnold who looked perplexed. And then it dawned on his face to which he slowly, and in complete embarrassment, plucked it out of her hands while she smirked his way. The pancakes were on their way and their coffee was being poured by a too overworked waitress in a white apron. Helga watched him put away the strawberries of which she was highly allergic to and decided not to give him too much shit.

"It's okay, I didn't die," Helga teased.

"I'm sorry," Arnold frowned. "I feel bad."

"I think you'd feel worse if I wasn't smart enough to know I'm allergic," Helga shrugged. "It's okay."

"Are you sure," he blushed. "I just wanted to make you something special."

"Well, last night was special," she bit her lip slightly. "I had an amazing time."

"Amazing enough... to do it again," he questioned softly.

"As m-many as you'd like," Helga coughed.

"Here are your pancakes," said the waitress, placing down their food in front of them. Helga took the chance to sip her coffee and grimace at the lack of taste.

"So," Arnold reached out and took her hand. "Does this mean you'll be my official girlfriend?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"Well, as long as you don't keep trying to feed me strawberries," Helga blushed, brushing her hair back from her face.

"Does this mean I get to kiss you whenever I want," Arnold grinned.

"I guess," Helga smiled despite herself.

So he kissed her.


End file.
